Thursday, September 19, 2013


Enter the Matrix
It has become clear that due to the international pressure and the general busyness of the task of running an absolute monarchy, we have volunteered to draft the foreword for the much anticipated Monarchical Democracy textbook. We know that his majesty is kept very busy through explaining the ideology of Tinkhundla, but that is just about to become a thing of the past as the Monarchical Democracy textbook will be handed out to all those forward people asking too many questions about our Traditional System of government.

I think i don’t need to repeat that Monarchical Democracy, first and foremost, is the marriage of the Ballot box and the Monarch, as his majesty has so elaborated on a couple of occasions. To those pessimists that are foreseeing a divorce, please do not bother yourselves because his majesty clarified that Issue not so long ago that our traditional structures do no permit divorces. So this marriage between the monarch and the ballot box is forever. Yes, it is very different from the western marriage.

There might seem like there is confusion on the ownership of Swaziland, but let us make it clear that our forefathers spilled a lot of blood for our clan to own Swaziland. That is the very reason that we will not attend the incwala that will be held by the recently crowned Maseko clan in South Africa. Those idiots have taken advantage of the border issue and through the idiocy of Nhlavana, they have declared themselves royal. Have they ever spilled any blood to deserve such?

But this foreword is not about the Maseko, so we will head back to the main issue. When looking at the two words which are “monarchical” and “democracy”, you will realise that the dictionary clarifies them as two words that mean two opposing things. It is like saying, “I am going Up down.” The beauty is normally in the confusion. It creates a more or less mythical atmosphere. We didn’t call ourselves Siyinqaba for nothing. The whole thing is like poetry. You know like, “the silence is too loud.” Monarchical means an absolute rule by a Monarch, and democracy means representative rule or rule by the people. The trick is that after everything has been explained the audience must remain none the wiser.

In effect the system does not allow any interference from the people. We rule absolutely. Yes, due to these constant noises from inside and the international community we have created structures that might seem like they are a full democracy, but the beauty is that after we create such dummy structures, we then create structures above them to veto any decision that comes from below that we do not like. As you know that at the apex then sits his majesty with full power to veto everything below.   If academics and the other buffoons were clever they would use the point that the system is “fully undemocratic” because his majesty sits at the apex with power to veto anything and everything. But no, they take the bait of proceeding into the maze that we have created trying to sound academic about everything as they analyse this and that.

You should see the confusion, especially with the academics as they analyse the “democratic” structures. Now it is almost official that the system is “not completely undemocratic”. One valuable lesson we have learned is that academics fear to sound ridiculous, so we make the whole thing so ridiculous that they have no choice but to declare us “not undemocratic”, or stand the risk to sound as ridiculous as we have made the system to be. Funny isn’t it?

So basically with the Monarchical Democracy book we are trying acquire as sort of a default “no comment”. From now onwards to whoever wants to know about out governing system, we will assign an individual who will travel with his majesty everywhere so that he can hand out a booklet to all the curious minds out there. Yes we will have it in a textbook form and a compressed version which will be packaged in a hand size booklet that will be used for propaganda purposes.

Im sure you are asking why the foreword is not getting to the point where it clarifies Monarchical Democracy. Well my friend, as mentioned earlier the trick is that after you have read everything you remain as ignorant as when you began reading.

But because we can be generous, we will just give you a teaser on what a Monarchical Democracy is. Especially because we know you enjoy reading the foolish stuff hence a post that has enjoyed over thirty thousand comments on Facebook is a post that talks about pastors, snakes and the underworld. Yes, we do monitor that because we like it when the people focus on the useless stuff while we enjoy their taxes without any interference.

If we can jerk your submissive mind back to reality we could remind the reader that just now in this foreword we promised to give a teaser on explaining the Monarchical Democracy, but I am very sure the reader’s mind was already drooling on what we would further say  in relation to the post on Facebook, and had already forgotten of the real issue which is thee clarity on the Monarchical Democracy.

We know you are very curious, and we know you want to know what a Monarchical Democracy is. But my friends, no one can tell you what a Monarchical Democracy is; you have to experience  for yourself to know it. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD.

No comments:

Post a Comment